All posts by Bryce Ashlin-Mayo

Our Dream For Lucas

Laurie and I wrote this for Lucas as he went into Grade 1. It was a way to express our desire for Lucas’ life to those who would help shape him in his education.

As he now enters Grade 7 in a new school, we set out to revisit and revise it. However, instead of changing it, we decided that it was still as profoundly accurate and challenging as it was when we wrote it six years ago. Our dream for Lucas hasn’t changed and we are more convinced of that dream than ever before.

Lucas Dream 2014

In the past, we have had people tell us to have low expectations for Lucas and that our dream was not realistic, but we defiantly refuse to set ceiling limits for any of our children. We want them all to meet their full potential and refuse to determine that potential for them in advance. We want Lucas, as we do Nathanial and Sydney, to be all he can be.

I thought I would share this to encourage all parents with special needs children. Our job as parents may be unique but our calling is not. Having a special needs child means our job as a parent will have unique challenges but our calling is the same as any parent of any child, anywhere. Never let anyone tell you different!

The calling of any parent is to provide for, encourage and support their children to reach their full potential in all of life.

From Wagon Wheels to Ferris Wheels

In our entertainment drenched, instant-everything world, we can so easily forget our roots and everything we have to be thankful for. The theme of this year’s Vermilion Fair, “From Wagon Wheels to Ferris Wheels,” reminds us of this. Consider what it was like one-hundred-plus years ago when our ancestors were settling in Vermilion.

The wagon wheel is not just a symbol of a horse drawn vehicle, but of a different way of life. This life, which we often romanticize as being simpler and happier, was, in fact, filled with great hardship and risk. Living with no running water, no gas furnaces for the winter, no hospitals, no dentists, no grocery stores, etc., people would spend ninety-percent of their time surviving, or preparing to survive, the harsh seasonal prairie winters. The wagon wheel is a symbol of that time.

We now live in a world of Ferris wheels and entertainment. In our Ferris wheel culture, we easily complain about our “first world problems” (our cell phones don’t keep their charge, our plane scheduled to take us to a tropical locale was late, our food at the restaurant wasn’t the right temperature, etc.), ignoring the fact that in our world’s economy we (all of us) are rich and have so much to be continually thankful for. The world of the entertainingly instantaneous can be intoxicatingly insidious. It can easily tempt us away from gratitude, driving us toward dissatisfaction leading to anxiety and worry. This reality is revealed in the Bible.

Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

According to the Bible, the way to deal with the regular anxiety that dwells in the dark shadow of Ferris wheel culture is by prayer and thanksgiving. Prayer puts our focus on God rather than on our fast moving world and thanksgiving adjusts the world into focus.

Ferris wheels can be challenging for people with motion sickness as it repeatedly goes up-and-down and around-and-around. In our fast-paced, entertainment-driven, and instant-focused Ferris wheel culture, we all suffer from motion sickness. The solution to both the physical and the cultural forms of motion sickness is remarkably similar.

The solution is to look at a fixed point and begin to orientate yourself around it; this is what the Bible is communicating in Philippines 4:6. As our world spins and anxiety grows, our hope is found in only one fixed point – Jesus. If we place our focus on Jesus through prayer with thanksgiving, we will experience peace, joy and contentment in the midst of the continual ups-and-downs of life.

As we continue the journey in our Ferris world culture, let up keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and be continually thankful. Let us combat dissatisfaction and discontentment with a thanksgiving and gratitude that is focused on Jesus. In so doing, let us enjoy the ride on life’s great Ferris wheel.

Five Reasons Why Superhero Movies Are Not All That Super

Unless you have been hiding underneath a piece of kryptonite, you would have noticed that superheroes are everywhere and they dominate success at the box office, primetime television, gaming devices, etc.  This phenomenon is not insignificant nor without cultural influence.
Before I end up stirring superhero fans everywhere into a Hulk-like rage and receiving a lifetime ban from Comic-Con, I want to state two provisos up front.  First, I like superhero movies.  They are entertaining, fun, and promote some great values like honesty and courage.  The following is not intended to argue that the superhero genre be abandoned or boycotted, simply that viewers consider the full spectrum of issues they raise.  Second, although there are exceptions to all the following, they are, by necessity, based on generalizations.
With Batman-like brevity, the following argues that these messages, values, and realities are not all positive or benign.  To that end, here are five reasons why superhero movies are not all that super:

#1: Superhero movies portray that villains and heroes look differently and have different powers than you.

Watch an average scene from a superhero movie and there is no ambiguity of who the superhero or super villain is.  They are identified by a unique costume and/or a unique superpower.  This is why no one mistakes Superman with Lex Luther – everyone knows all bald men in business suits are evil.
Granted, it is part of the storytelling mechanism to clearly identify whom the heroes and villains are, but this is very different than real life.  In real life, the heroes among us look just like us.  Real life heroes are firemen/firewomen who step into a raging fire without the supernatural ability to withstand it, teachers who work endless hours without super strength, and cancer patients who are injected with radioactive material in a heroic fight for life.  Heroes live in plain sight and are everyday people.
Disturbingly, the opposite is also true.  Sexual predators, murderers, thieves, etc. don’t wear costumes to display their evil intent.  The truth is much scarier than that: real life villains look just like us and live in plain sight.  Everyday villains, like everyday heroes, are everyday people.

#2 Superhero movies too easily separate people into categories of good and evil.

The simplistic moral compass of a classic superhero movie is easy to storyline but it can portray good and evil in too simplistic of terms.  This simplistic view of the world can easily place people in an “us versus them” posture without recognizing the complexity of human problems and the nature of good and evil.  This is why the writing of the TV show “Breaking Bad” was so compelling – it recognized the moral complexity that exists in everyday life.

#3 Superhero movies portray average as insignificant.

Superhero movies have a propensity to make average seem insignificant.   The temptation is to watch and assume that since one doesn’t have a superpower, one can’t change the world, be an agent of good, or tackle injustice.  The reality is that this has always been, and will always be, done by average ordinary people.  We can’t wait for superheroes to change the world because we are the agents of change the world desperately needs.
The problems of injustice, poverty, and inequality do not need just one person with the angry green power of the Hulk, the utility belt of Batman, or the Hammer of Thor.  Instead, it needs average ordinary people joining together to fight injustice, poverty, and inequality with the collective power of their everyday choices and voices.

#4 Superhero movies ignore the moral dilemma of collateral damage.

In superhero movies it isn’t odd to see the actions of the hero indirectly kill innocent victims as a matter of collateral damage.  The simplistic moral storyline may necessitate this, but its occurrence, without consideration of the moral dilemma it causes, is concerning.  Is it okay for a superhero to kill or risk the lives of other people in order to save someone else?  Does the ends justify the means?

#5 Superhero movies promote and elevate a compartmentalized view of life.

Whether we are talking about Batman (Bruce Wayne), Spiderman (Peter Parker), or Superman (Clark Kent), one of the traditional and common traits of superheroes is that they have two identities – an alter ego.  They are seen to be ‘mild mannered’ by day and ‘courageous’ by night, promoting the false belief that these two traits are somehow incompatible with each other.
Being two different people, depending on the situation, is not a trait to be fostered.  True heroes don’t have alter egos and costumes.  True heroes are the same good men and women in public as they are in private.  These are the kind of heroes our world needs.
Superhero movies are entertaining and fun but the nature of this popular genre affirms and promotes values that we need to be critically aware of as we enjoy them.  We need to view the superhero genre with a metaphorical x-ray vision and critically reflect on what is happening below the surface.

Catalyst For Community Cohesion

The following post was also published in the Vermilion Standard.

Recently, I came up with the phrase “Catalyst for Community Cohesion” to refer to the need and increasing desire to see groups and organizations work together with intentional and open partnerships towards common goals.

Too often, in our communities, there are multiple groups and organizations with great intentions working towards an increasing expanding need.  As population increases and demographics change, there emerge increasing social needs.  In great communities like Vermilion, this need is then identified and addressed by individuals, community groups, businesses, faith groups, and government who work tirelessness and tenaciously to fill the need.  This is to be commended!  The challenge with this is that we, as humanity, inherently struggle with pride; thus, as individuals and organizations, we end up protecting our idea, program, solution, etc. from others and end up working in isolation.

Although this way of operating is typical, it is neither ideal nor efficient.  I have witnessed time and time again that one group can help one person, another group can help another, but if they worked together in humble partnership and openness they can actually help three people instead of just two.  This is the exponential power of community cohesion – when groups work cohesively together to meet a need.

The catalyst for community cohesion is humility.  Society, as a whole, needs more of it.  Vermilion needs more of it.  The church I serve needs more of it.  Our town businesses need more of.  My individual life definitely needs more of it.

If we can begin to stop protecting our individual programs, organizations, ideas, etc. and, with humble openness, join hands with others, we can accomplish exponentially more than we can on our own.

The Bible says: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)

I sense change on the horizon.  Something unique and beautiful is happening in Vermilion.  In the various committees and organizations I get the privilege to be a part of, I sense increased and blossoming humility.  I sense increased community cohesion as people and groups come together towards common goals and mission.  This is a very positive thing.

To see this continue to grow and develop, we need more humble organizations, businesses, churches and individuals.  Humble people and organizations ask for help, listen, seek common goals and reach out.

Therefore, I call us to increased humility.  Together, let’s allow the catalyst for community cohesion to take effect so that together we can create lasting systemic and exponential positive change in our community.  We are better together and can do exponentially more when we humbly partner towards the common good.

Learn to Love; Learn to Listen

The following article is also published in the Vermilion Standard.

With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, I thought it would be appropriate to talk about love.  As I was reflecting on what to specifically address regarding love, I honed in on the skill and art of listening.  If you want to express love to someone, a great way to start is to listen.  In our loud and noisy world, listening is a rare skill and a fine art.  As a pastor, I know of many marriages that could be exponentially better if both partners would learn and practice the skill and art of listening.

“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” 
Proverbs 18:2

To that end, I want to suggest five things you can do to become better listener:

Stop talking – This sounds simple but you would be surprised by how many people think they are listening when they are really talking.  You can’t listen if you are talking.  Often when a person stops physically talking they are mentally focused on the next thing they are going to say rather than truly honouring the other person and listening unreservedly.


Give attention – This might sound like a radical idea but I would suggest that on your next date, you give each other your cell phones.  This way you will know if there is an emergency but you won’t be constantly checking your phone for texts and emails.  We live in a world that is clamouring for our attention; thus, a great expression of love and care is to focus in and give one’s entire attention to another person.

Actively listen – Don’t simply passively listen with your ears, actively listen with your entire body.  Lean in, show you are listening, ask clarifying questions, etc.  Demonstrate to the other person that you are listening to them.

Seek to understand rather than just comprehend – People confuse hearing with listening – they are not the same thing.  Someone can hear you but that is very different than listening to you.  Listening is about trying to understand the other person, honouring their words and ideas and trying to understand their perspective, dreams, thoughts and ambitions.  Don’t just settle for hearing and comprehending someone, listen to them and try to understand them.

Ask for feedback – If you are in a relationship with someone, periodically ask them how you are doing listening to them.  Let them know that you are trying to get better at it and that you value their help and feedback.  Trust me, if you do this with your spouse or significant other, they will be grateful.

I guarantee that if you learn how to listen, all relationships will improve – specifically the one with your significant other.  Learn to love; learn to listen.