Category Archives: standard

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God Looks At The Heart

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This article was also publish in the The Vermilion Standard.

I am currently [this was written two weeks ago but just published today] in the middle of helping out at Parkview Alliance Church’s Vacation Bible School – a week long kid’s program filled with Bible stories, games, music, crafts and lots of fun.  The Bible memory verse for one of the days came from 1 Samuel 16:7 that says:

“…The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  

Although this verse was written thousands of years ago, it is equally true today.  Think of this verse in our present-day culture.  Perhaps a contemporary way of translating that verse would be:

“…The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at your Facebook Timeline but God looks at your heart.”  

We have always been about perception and outward appearance.  It manifests differently in different cultures at different times.  In some cultures, as is the case in the context of the Bible verse, it is physical appearance that can take precedence over the heart.  In other cultures, socio-economic appearances can take center stage at the heart’s expense.  In our culture today, where we are increasingly living our lives through social media in an online virtual world, it has predictably manifested itself here as well through Facebook status updates.  No matter what culture or time, this reality has been a struggle for humanity.

We all have personal experience with this in our daily lives.   We all know that the exterior we show does not always match the interior of our lives.  Our smile can often mask deep pain and our dress can often mask deep hurt.  God knows this and calls us to something better.  God calls us to examine others and ourselves not by outward appearance (which can be deceiving) but by the heart.

This reality is true in our personal lives.  How often do you believe, subtly but powerfully, that God looks at your outward appearance rather than at your heart?  How often do you judge others based on outward appearances (either positively or negatively) instead of looking at their heart?

Remember: “…The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

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A Marriage Full-Court PRESS

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This article was also publish in the The Vermilion Standard.

In a recent sermon at Parkview Alliance Church, I spoke about marriage and the need for married couples to actively pursue a healthy marriage.  Marriage, like a healthy garden or a crop, needs to be tended regularly to be healthy.   Unlike popular thought, healthy marriages don’t occur spontaneously but take constant hard work and diligent effort.  To help people reflect upon and apply this in their lives, I came up with the concept of a Marriage “Full-Court P.R.E.S.S.”

As a former competitive basketball player, I am familiar with the need for good defense at times when the game gets close and the pressure mounts. When this is the case, the most common, and arguably, the best course of action is a full-court press.   I want to take that metaphor and use it in the context of marriage, suggesting the following five practices (not comprehensive) that can aid in producing a healthy marriage.

The Full-Court Marriage P.R.E.S.S.:

  • Pray Together.  Prayer is the intimate conversation, existing within relationship, between humanity and an Almighty God, made possible through Christ.  At the heart of prayer is intimacy.  It is impossible to have a healthy prayer life without being open and honest with God.  If you pray with your spouse, not only will you grow in your relationship with God but also with your spouse as you share intimately together and before God.  If you are going through difficulties, try praying together!  Invite Christ in to your situation and your struggle and see what God will do.  Recognize that if things are difficult in your marriage, this will be the last thing you will want to do but I would argue, for a variety of reasons, that it is also the most important thing you can do together and for each other!
  • Recreation.  This is a simple and often neglected part of a healthy marriage.  You need to have fun with your spouse.  It is hard to be angry and annoyed with each other when you are having fun together.  It is an important part of growing intimacy together and enjoying life with one another.  Find an activity you both enjoy and do it together!
  • Extend Forgiveness.  Admittedly, it is difficult to extend forgiveness in big things but it is easier to do so when you have extended it in small things.  Do not do what is called “Gunny Sacking;” in other words, do not hold on to things until they blow up and unloading all your carried grievances at one time.  Instead, seek and extend forgiveness often!  This is why the Bible says we are not supposed to let the sun go down on our anger (Ephesians 4:26).  Extend and offer forgiveness frequently! 
  • Say “thank-you” & “I love you” lots.  This seems simple and is frequently stated but it is also absolutely true and foundational to a good marriage.  You can’t say it too often and you need to find different ways of expressing it (words, gifts, cards, physical affection, time, etc.).
  • Seek Help.  A common mistake many couples make when things get rough, when something bad happens, or when communication begins to break down is that they delay getting help until it is the last resort.  Don’t make this mistake!  Seek help from a pastor, mentor, or counselor before things get worse.  Remember, the process of counseling is confidential and the counselor is an advocate for your health and success!

Jesus affirmed the teaching that, in marriage, two people become one. In marriage the husband and wife leave their families and join together in a life long commitment together.  This is a commitment that takes work as couples P.R.E.S.S. themselves, with God’s help, towards health and vitality.  Whether your marriage is good or struggling, put on a full-court P.R.E.S.S. and experience a healthy marriage together.  Remember, a common enemy of a great marriage is a good one.  Don’t settle for good, P.R.E.S.S. on towards great.

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A Common Myth

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The following post was recently published in the Vermilion Standard.

We’ve embraced a myth in our culture.  It is a myth that we all wish was true.  In fact, we operate our lives and schedules around this myth in search of its illusive and tempting claim, consequently robbing ourselves of the very thing we are searching for.  This myth is called “Planned Isolated Quality Time.”

Let me explain…

In our culture, we have come to accept that the illusive and mythical reality of planned isolated quality time is possible and so we schedule our lives around creating this mythical time in our various relationships, futilely attempting to compensate for the lack of quantity time we have in our busy schedules.  I believe we accept and embrace this myth specifically because it means we can live without boundaries or margins, perceivably skipping those realities because we have scheduled quality time.

We seek this mythical quality time with our spouses, believing that if we just schedule special times where we will be together alone, it will make up for the hours spent apart through our daily routines of busyness.

We seek the mythical planned isolated quality time with our kids, believing that if we just schedule special events and holidays (planned isolated quality times), they will offset the lack of quantity time spend because of our overfilled schedules.

I want to suggest that planned isolated quality time is a myth!  My experience has always been that quality time always happens spontaneously in the midst of quantity time and is often unplanned and never isolated.  Said again, quality time does exist, it is just very difficult to plan it.  When we attempt to plan quality time, at the expense for quantity time, we end up starving those we love and ourselves from the quality time we all desperately desire and need.

I write this article with full disclosure that I am not an expert in this and am constantly learning what this means in my every day life.  I, too, am at times a believer in the myth of planned isolated quality time and am constantly (re)learning to reject this myth.

Quality time exists spontaneously within the selfless gift of quantity time.  We all desire what can only be accomplished through quantity time with those we love and those who love us.  This takes effort and self-sacrifice but it is worth it – the ones we love are worth it.  Reject the myth and accept the hard truth that time is an expensive gift worth giving and sacrificing for those we love.

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Invite Christ In

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The following was recently published in the Vermilion Standard.

As a pastor I have the privilege and challenge of guiding people through some very difficult situations in their lives.  If anyone ever questioned whether life is complicated, I can say, with some authority, that it is!   Life has its moments filled with difficulty, trials, challenges, mourning, grief, disappointment, rejection, confusion, etc.  This is, of course, not news to you and something each of us is intimately familiar with.   It is in these times where I am often called upon to provide guidance and direction.

Although this often seems like a daunting task, I am reminded of my role as a minister: to simply, but profoundly, invite Jesus Christ in.  My role is not to provide a simple answer, but to invite Christ in.  Through prayer and the ministry of Scripture (the Bible), I can lead the action of inviting Christ Jesus into the pain, sorrow, grief, relationship, conflict, struggle, and temptation, reminding people of the fact that God offers comfort, wisdom, peace, joy, and strength.
In your life today, what does it mean to invite Christ in?  When things feel like they are being pushed apart, what does it mean to invite Christ in?  When your marriage is falling apart and you are not sure what to do next, what does it mean to invite Christ in?  When you have no idea what to do in a situation or with a relationship, what does it mean to invite Christ in?
Sometimes this means an opening to what the Bible (God’s Word) would say in the situation.  Sometimes it means praying and verbally expressing a desire for Christ to come into the situation and give His guidance and direction.
The Bible is filled with reminders that Jesus, God, never forces his way into anyone’s life but He is always waiting to come in!  God allows us to have the free choice of participation, because love is never love when forced.
Scripture tell us that God loves extravagantly (perfectly expressed through Christ) and can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.  Therefore, where do you need to invite Christ in today?  What are you waiting for?

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV)
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Life Lessons From The Coffee Bean

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The following article was recently published in the Vermilion Standard.

A few weeks again I was in the drive-through at Tim Horton’s with my beautiful wife and three great kids. After making the customary order of two large coffees, our kids petitioned that we go home and have a family meeting about our coffee “problem.” I believe the actual word they used was “intervention.” They joked about our addiction to coffee and we laughed about the incident. Although their real issue was about them having to patiently wait in line at Tim Horton’s while we got coffee, they were right about our love of the java bean and it’s aroma filled, caffeine infused, goodness.

As a lover of coffee, I have been intrigued with different blends and coffee roasting practices from around the world. Many people don’t realize that the process of harvesting and processing coffee beans takes time and is not gentle. Coffee beans begin as a harvested cherry that must have its fleshy covering removed. This removal and subsequent appropriate aging and roasting of the coffee bean take time and effort.

What makes coffee so flavoursome is the process the coffee bean goes through. This same principle is true of our lives. Our lives are filled with hardship, pain, struggles and disappointments. Agree? Jesus does! One of the most forgotten promises of Jesus is “In this world you will have trouble…” (John 16:33a). Jesus promised that you would have troubles, hardships and problems! It’s a guarantee.

However, the Bible also teaches that God can use those troubles for our good and for His glory (Romans 8:28). He can take what could be used to harm us and allow it to grow us and shape us. The challenge is: the decision of how trouble will be used is up to us. We can allow these things to create bitterness and resentment or we can allow God to use them for our growth in faith, patience and understanding. The choice is ours.

When Jesus makes the statement that “In this world you will have trouble…” he ends it with the following promise: “…But take heart. I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b) The reality is, in this world we will have trouble and we have a choice of whether we will face the challenges with hope that Jesus has overcome the world or we can face those challenges with anger, bitterness and resentment.

What challenge are you facing? What trouble are you going through? Take heart! Christ has overcome the world. Choose today to believe in that promise and allow God to use your challenges to form you and mold you into the man or woman He has created you to be. The choice is yours! Take heart, my friend!