Category Archives: Blog

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Don’t Settle For A Good Marriage

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*The following was originally published in the Vermilion Standard.



Jim Collins, in his book “Good to Great” about corporate success, makes the statement that the greatest enemy to great is settling for good.  I want to take Collins’ comment into the context of marriage because I think it is very relevant for anyone who has been married for any length of time.

As a pastor, I am often involved in marriage counseling with people who are on the brink.  Their marriages have been struggling for a while and once they get bad enough, they come, out of desperation, seeking counsel and help.  I am not negating this practice. In fact, if you are in marriage turmoil, stop reading now and seek help.  Counseling is confidential and it is not worth waiting one more minute hoping the pain, anger and the lack of communication will go away and mysteriously fix itself.

This article is intended for couples that have been doing “okay;” their marriages are good.  If this is you, I would ask:  Why settle for good when great is possible?  Why spend multiple years with poor communication, awkward tension, and so on?  Why, when great is possible?

I do premarital counseling for couples preparing for marriage and a huge part of what I do is demonstrate what counseling is and I tell all of them that if, in the future, their marriages become a six or seven out of ten (ten being “great”), to get some help making it an eight or a nine.  People are often surprised that marriage counseling, especially when things are not at the brink, can be filled with laughter and understanding, teaching communication skills and simply making time for conversations that maybe are difficult in the midst of a busy life.

For the men:  I want to give a special challenge to men who seem to avoid marriage counseling, books or videos like the plague.  I want to encourage you with a male friendly illustration.  If your truck had a deflated tire, what would you do?  Would you drive it for weeks, months and years?  What would happen if you did?  It would get worse, eventually wearing down to the place where it would pop at the most unexpected time, all the while lowering your fuel economy and causing difficult driving.  Your marriage is similar.  Every once and a while you need to check your tires, and if they are deflated, get some help.  Recognize that the price it will cost and the time it will take is more than worth it in the long run.  There are lots of books, video and resources that are enjoyable and helpful.  If you desire to go the counseling route, it is important to remember that counseling can be fun, relaxed and open, especially when you are just in for a tune up.

For the women:  I want to help you understand your husband a little and his reluctance, at times, to seek help.  A man’s pride is really important to him and to ask for help in a relationship is difficult.  It means he has to admit he might need help (just as you need to admit it) but it is a little hard on the male ego.  Also, in the context of counseling, guys have a tendency to think, wrongly, that counseling is just hours filled with sharing feelings and ending up with the counselor ganging up on him.

Is your marriage at the brink?  If so, seek help immediately.

Is your marriage good but could be better, work on it!  Read a book, watch a video or get some help via a counselor to make it great.

Is your marriage great?  Consider sharing your wisdom with others and maybe even mentoring a younger couple with the important lessons you have learned along the way.

Whatever you do, don’t settle for a good marriage when a great marriage is possible.

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Technology in Ministry #3: DropBox

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One product that I have found to be indispensable in ministry is called DropBox.  DropBox in an invaluable tool that allows you to keep files on your computer’s harddrive for offline access but also online for back-up and syncing between devices and computers.  Therefore, I can work on a file on my MacBook Air, close my computer and it will download automatically (with changes) to my MacBook Pro (or my wife’s PC – we share a folder on DropBox), all the while allowing to be accessible on my iPad or iPod for viewing or editing.  Then, when I open it again in my MacBook Air, it will automatically download the updated synced version.  It is ingenious and indispensable.  I use the free version that gives you about 2gigs of free space to share between all your devices.  Although you can get larger storage if you need, I don’t use it to store music or video so the 2gigs works great for me.

The other feature about DropBox that I have eluted to already is the fact that you can share folders in DropBox with others.  In my case, I have my private folders, a public folder (share files with anyone – linked via a website, blog or email for example), a folder I share with my wife, a folder I share with extended family and a folder I share with our office staff.  I have full control over who accesses what.

DropBox has apps for PC, MAC and portable devices as well as through their website, which is accessible on any browser.  The following is a video that explains DropBox.

If you decide to use dropbox, follow this link which will give me a little extra free storage: DROPBOX🙂

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Technology in Ministry #2 – Evernote

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What is Evernote?
I discovered Evernote about 6-8 months ago and it is outstanding!!!  Seriously, I can’t say enough good things about it.  The ability to electronically file everything in one place on all my devices – brillant!  Evernote is a online tool that allows you to post notes (with lots of application possibilities) in a variety of different forms.  Evernote syncs my notes, automatically, between my computers, iPhone, iPad and does it easiely and seemlessly (creating a back-up for all my Evernote files and notes).



Ways I use Evernote?

  • I use it to hold all my business cards.  In fact, when I get a card, I just take a picture with my phone and create a note for it and put it in my notebook called “Business Cards.”  It is now instantly searchable and accessible on all my devices at any time.  A great feature is that it also scans texts from pdfs and photos so they are searchable later.
  • I use it to draft my articles and sermons.  Evernote is where I put my outlines together, thoughts, sermon illustrations and when I am ready to write a sermon or article in Word, I have everything ready to be organized, copied and pasted.
  • I use it for my expenses, taking pictures of my reciepts and keeping track of mileage.  It is easy and once again available on all my devices (constantly syncing between them).
  • I use it for my todo list.  I have tried lots of todo list apps but I keep coming back to Evernote because it is simple and convenient.
  • I use it for storing webpages I need to reference later (book I want to buy, articles I need to read, etc).  I use the Chrome plugin for Evernote that allows me to clip any webpage into Evernote (including text and photos), making it tag-able, searchable and ready when I need it.
  • I use it for keeping, storing and searching pdfs.  I also use the “Good Reader” app for my iPad that allows me to annotate pdfs (underline, make notes, etc.) which is great for meetings or articles I am reading.
  • I use it for scanning paper hand-outs.  Have you ever been at a meeting and gotten a hand-out in paper formate but wanted it digitally?  Just get an app for your smart phone that allows you to take a picture of the file and convert it to pdf.  Many of these app will then allow you to email it to your free Evernote email address, automatically creating a new note and storing it forever in Evernote.  Once again it is then tagable, file-able and searchable.
  • I use it to keep audio notes of things.  I can record these (you can do it with video too but I have yet to use this feature) on any device and come back to it on any of your devices.
  • I use it for research when writing articles or papers.  It is easy to do, allowing you to search and organize later.
  • One of the best features is using it with Kindle Web which stores my highlights and notes from Kindle books I have read.  Once I am finished a book, I simply clip the Kinde Web page (using the Chrome Evernote Clip Add-on) with my highlights and notes into Evernote and they are then searchable, reference-able and copy and paste-able when I need them.
How Much Is Evernote?
You might be asking, how much does Evernote cost…well this is the best part.  It is free for basic use and the premium version is only necessary if you do a lot of things that take large chunks of data to sync (photos for example).  But even if you do, the premium version is still well worth the price.  The premium version is $5.00 per month or $45.00 per year.
article, Blog, technology, technologyinministry

Technology in Ministry Part 1 – Hardware

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I am often asked what forms of technology (hardware, software, mobile apps, and web apps) I/we use. I thought I would do a number of posts on this topic each addressing a different form of tech for different functionalies.

To start it off, I thought I would begin talking about hardware.  First, it will not be a surprise that I am an Apple fan and, thus, I have a full array of Apple products.  I love Apple because they are sleek, last a long time, the software and hardware are always compatible, and software upgrades are cheap (the latest operating system upgrade was $29.00).

The following is a list of Hardware I use and the benefits of each:

iPod – I have an old school 30gig iPod that I still use for music.  It holds my entire music Library and allowed me to buy the smaller iPhone as a result.  I leave it attached to my home office speakers most of the time.  I have had it for years and it still works brilliantly!

iPhone 4 – I use to have a Blackberry but found it was limited in what it could do.  In comparison, it couldn’t match up to the power and versitility of an iPhone.  The iphone allows me, with the right apps, to take my office with me and have access to my important files, music, video, books, etc.  It also is my GPS which allows me to carry it with me everywhere I go regardless of what vehicle I am in.

iPad 2 – I, honestly and in full disclosure, bought an Ipad because Steve Jobs told me I needed one:)  But after having it, I love it.  I can write blog posts, read and respond to my school Forums, catch up on news, connet via scoial media, use Evernote, play games, watch Netflix, read Kindle books, etc. all at the touch of a screen icon in one easy to hold and carry device.

Kindle 3G – With the amount of reading I do for school I find that prolonged reading on the iPad screen is a little hard on the eyes and the Kindle is a great alternative. The benefits of the Kindle are varied  For one, I use the Kindle App on all my devices and it syncs my notes,  underlines, and last page read between them.  In other words, I can literally read 10 pages on my iPhone, switch to my iPad and then later my Kindle and finish on my computer all synced and working seamless together.  The other advantage of the Kindle, over the other Hardare options, is the Kindle Web feature that stores my notes and underlines which I, after the book is complete, send to Evernote so I can search and reference them later.

17″ MacBook Pro – I bought a MacBook pro three plus years ago and love it.  It is a work horse.  I still use it for video editing and it sits in my home office.

10″ MacBook Air – I bought my MacBook Air a couple months ago and it is faster than my old MacBook pro, lighter and more compact.  With the increasing amount of writing and traveling I am doing, it is nice to have something more portable without losing power or speed.  It also has a flash Harddrive; because the flash harddrive has no moving parts, it doesn’t become a mini-heater like my old MacBook Pro.

My only complant about my Apple products is not that they are more expensive than some of their competitors, you get what you pay for, but that they are not universal in what some of their products can play.  For example, it is frustrating that the iPhone and iPad are not Flash Video compatible.  I understand Apple’s reservation with what they consider their competitor and inferior technology, but as a avid web-user it is frustrating not to have full access to web content because of it.

Coming Soon: Why I use Evernote and the related software that makes it so powerful.

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The Gift of Limited Time

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Originally published in the Vermilion Standard, here is my recent article: “The Gift of Limited Time.”
A common question I hear during this time of year is: “Where did the summer go?”  It isn’t so much a question as it is a lament of the limited time we have in this part of the world for summer.  It is as if we are surprised each Fall when the days begin to shorten and the trees begin to change colour.  The same challenge is true when it comes to our often-lamented limited hours in a day.  In our rushed culture where we foolishly try to jam more and more into our limited schedules, we forget the gift of rest and finding a healthy rhythm in our lives.
The creation narrative in the Bible (Genesis 1-2) speaks about God creating our universe in such a way that time has a rhythm and cyclical reality (night and day, seven days in a week, rotating seasons).  This was not a mistake or a consequence but it is a gift; however, we as productive and efficient North Americans bock at such inefficiency.
Think of it this way, by having limited day light hours we are forced to stop and rest – to reset for another day.  Or by having limited time we are forced to have others help us (something experienced by many farmers each Fall and Spring) and, as a result, we experience the beautiful gift of community.  Limitation is a gift to be celebrated not a limitation to be mourned.  If you had unlimited time, you would probably rarely ask for help from others and, as a result, live an isolated life of individual busyness.  But by God’s grand design, you have limited time, need to rely on others and, as a result, experience the gift of community, relationship, co-operation and support.
Think of time as a beautiful musical chorus.  God created our world to function in the rhythm of time (day and night – winter and summer) and this rhythm is something we are to embrace rather than rebel against.  It is similar to a beating drum.  The brilliance and genius of a good drumbeat is not the beat itself but the rest between those beats.  Some of us, in our lives of busyness, are just making noise and not learning the dynamic of rhythm and gift of rest.
I am not writing as a master in this topic but a fellow struggler that seems to pretend that he can fit more into a day than is possible.  This is not something I neither boast about nor embrace.  Instead, like you, I have been created to live in a rhythm of rest, embracing my limitations and seeking help from others in community. If I deny that rhythm, there are inevitable consequences.
I find it ironic that a hundred years ago the rich and powerful would boast about their leisure and recreation time as a badge of honour rather than their busyness.  Think about it.  If you were to ask a successful person how they are, the first thing out of their mouth today would be “I’m busy” and we would embrace that as the expected and celebrated answer.  Historically, this was not always the case.   Why has busyness become the mantra of success?  I think, partially, because it, strangely and sadly, gives meaning to our lives.   We are all in search of finding meaning and purpose to life and in lack of a good alternative, busyness becomes an easy and artificial substitute.
But, what if we embraced the limited time we have, asked for others to help, started to celebrate a quiet evening as a sign of God’s rhythm of rest rather than feeling guilty we are not producing something?  What if our identities were not equal to our productivity and, instead, we found meaning in something more powerful than that – God, through a personal relationship in Christ, and his unique purpose for each of us?  What if, we discovered that our purpose was not in our productivity but in our love for God and others?