Listen to conversations and you will soon discover that we commonly use phrases like “falling in and out of love,” referring to love with the false assumption that it is easy, implying that love is accidental or by chance.  This, of course, is false because love is hard.

The Bible addresses the topic of love (you have probably heard this read at weddings), defining it as:

“Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints, it isn’t happy with injustice, but it is happy with the truth. Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, CEV)  

In essence, Love is hard.

Love, defined as this, sounds hard doesn’t it?  It is!!!  Love, by definition, is an act that denies one’s self for the sake of the other with NOTHING in return.  Have you ever been loved this way?  Was it easy for the person who loved you?  Have you ever loved this way?  What it easy for you?  Love is hard.

This is part of the reason about half of marriages end in divorce, why people have affairs, why people don’t seek help when their marriages are in trouble, why couple’s stop talking to each other, etc.  People falsely assume love should be easy when, in fact, love is hard.

By acknowledging that love is hard, you will begin to acknowledge that to love the way the Bible describes is both admirably desirable and overwhelmingly difficult.  You are right – it is.  Along with the definition of what love is, the Bible also includes the promise that if we ask God for help, he will answer.   After humbly admitting you need to help to love, you need to experience God’s love.  By experiencing this you will know what love looks like and will be able to love others.  God wants a relationship with you through Christ that is defined by the kind of love God describes.  God wants you to humbly ask him for help and he promises to answer.  You need help because love is hard.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, may it not be simply a day for swapping cards and chocolate that would amount to assuming love is easy.  Instead, may it also be a day where you and your valentine acknowledge that love is hard, ask God for help and commit to learn to love each other as the Bible describes.  May you recognize that, while love is hard, love is also absolutely worth it!