Is the “perfect” church one in which everyone agrees on everything, or is it one in which people at times disagree but with love, respect and acceptance?
I’ve heard people say that they wished everyone in their local church believed in everything, the same way, they did. I have also heard people say that they think it would be great to be in a church were there was complete agreement on everything at annual, congregational, committee or elder’s meetings.
Is that the picture of the “prefect” church? A community where there is unanimity/uniformity about every decision; where everyone looks, acts, and even believes the same thing about everything? Does this even take into consideration the fact that God has created us uniquely on purpose (individual preferences for all kinds of things including colors, food, music, etc.). Because we have been purposely created unique, it didn’t take God by surprise when his uniquely created human beings experienced conflict when they lived in community. Unlike many of our presuppositions, conflict is not evil but how we deal with it sometimes is. This is why the Bible doesn’t call us to live in unanimity/uniformity but in unity and why the New Testament talks so much about loving each other (1 John) and about unity (Ephesians). It assumes that there will be conflict, differences of opinion, etc. in the world and in the church. This is what makes love so “defining” (it is how they will know we are Christians – John 13:34-35) and what makes it so hard.
The “perfect” church is not a place that is free from conflict but where conflict is handled with love, respect and acceptance. This may be a lot harder to live in, create, lead, etc. but it sounds a lot more interesting and possible, than a church without any conflict.
I was going to try to answer all of your questions, but already missed number 2. Nonetheless, I’ll say that being rich is when you enjoy what you have. and rich that comes at someone else’s loss is problematic.
anyway, onto question 3. you hit the nail on the head yet again here. in fact i’m thrilled to hear someone else saying this. maybe there is hope for us after all. i am so sick of this idea that unity is the absence of conflict. don’t get me wrong, i suck at and am totally afraid of conflict, by nature, but i am so tired of the pseudo-community created by our avoidance issues that i’m almost looking for fights now, just so that i can get some community. okay, maybe not so much. i have a lot to learn. i don’t think bad conflict is any better than no conflict. we need to speak the truth in love. and yes I too wish, no, i LONG for more unity in the church on essential issues and such, but i think we are decieving ourselves into thinking we are better off not talking about things we don’t see eye to eye on.
dialogue enriches us and gives us opportunity to experience the strength in grace. avoidance emptiness us of community and leaves us with a shallow unity that bursts at the first sign of trouble, and can’t be all that attractive to a seeker looking for something substantial . . .
Thanks Jon. It is good to know I am not alone and your comments give me increased hope for the church.
To comment on your comment: I, like most people, don’t like conflict and it can causes fear at times. I remind myself frequently that courage is not the absence of fear but fear that has said its prayers. I guess, like you, I desire to lead the church with courage into becoming a healthy community which by necessity means dealing with conflict in a way that reflects the love and grace of God.